In a society that has long sought to fracture, commodify, and dehumanize Black existence, Black love remains one of the most enduring and radical acts of resistance. As Valentine’s Day approaches, often reduced to commercialized romance and narrow depictions of intimacy, it offers a timely opportunity to reclaim love as a liberatory practice within Black communities. Black love is not merely romantic affection; it is ancestral memory, collective survival, spiritual alignment, and an assertion of humanity in the face of systemic oppression. To love Black—fully, intentionally, and unapologetically—is to engage in liberation work.
Historically, Black love has existed under constant threat. Enslavement disrupted families, criminalized intimacy, and denied Black people the right to legally protect their unions or children. Yet love persisted. It lived in stolen moments, in oral traditions, in naming practices, and in kinship networks that extended beyond bloodlines. These acts of care were not incidental; they were foundational to survival. As bell hooks (2000) reminds us, love is not simply an emotion but an ethic—one rooted in care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, and trust. For Black communities, love has long functioned as both refuge and resistance, affirming Black personhood in systems designed to erase it.
Understanding Black love as liberation requires moving beyond Western, individualistic frameworks of romance. African-centered worldviews conceptualize love as communal, spiritual, and reciprocal. Love is not confined to couples but is expressed through collective responsibility, elder reverence, child protection, mutual aid, and shared struggle. From this perspective, love is inseparable from justice. To love is to protect, to affirm, to heal, and to restore balance—both within oneself and within the community. Nobles (2015) situates this orientation within African psychology, emphasizing that wellness, identity, and meaning are inherently relational rather than individual pursuits.
Valentine’s Day, when viewed through this lens, becomes less about consumption and more about consciousness. It invites reflection on how Black people choose one another—romantically, platonically, and communally—despite historical and ongoing assaults on Black relationships. Structural racism, mass incarceration, economic disenfranchisement, gendered stereotypes, and intergenerational trauma have all exerted pressure on Black intimacy. Yet Black love continues to adapt, redefine itself, and endure.
Romantic Black love, in particular, has often been pathologized or politicized. Black couples have been scrutinized, idealized, blamed, or erased, rarely afforded the complexity extended to others. Narratives of dysfunction overshadow stories of devotion, tenderness, and growth. Reclaiming Valentine’s Day as a celebration of Black romantic love challenges these distortions. It affirms that Black people deserve joy, softness, passion, and vulnerability, not as rewards for resilience, but as inherent rights.
Equally vital is recognizing self-love as a cornerstone of liberation. For Black individuals navigating racism, colorism, sexism, and internalized oppression, self-love is neither indulgent nor apolitical. It is a necessary intervention. Choosing rest over burnout, boundaries over self-sacrifice, and healing over silence directly resists systems that profit from Black exhaustion and disposability. Comas-Díaz (2016) underscores that racial trauma requires culturally grounded, race-informed healing approaches—ones that affirm identity, restore dignity, and reconnect individuals to collective sources of strength.
Black love as liberation also demands inclusivity. It must hold space for diverse gender identities, sexual orientations, family structures, and relational expressions within the Black diaspora. Liberation cannot exist where love is conditional or exclusionary. An African-centered ethic of love recognizes wholeness, interconnection, and the sacredness of each person’s lived experience. When Black love embraces this expansiveness, it becomes a site of healing rather than hierarchy.
Community care represents another essential dimension of Black love. Mutual aid networks, grassroots organizing, collective grieving, and shared celebration all reflect love in action. These practices have historically filled gaps left by institutional neglect and betrayal. They are expressions of what it means to love collectively—to refuse abandonment, to show up repeatedly, and to imagine futures grounded in care rather than control. Love, in this sense, is not passive emotion but sustained commitment.
The psychological implications of Black love as liberation are profound. Supportive relationships, cultural affirmation, and collective identity buffer against the mental health impacts of racism and intergenerational trauma. Love—when rooted in African-centered values—becomes protective. It fosters resilience without romanticizing suffering and encourages healing without denying structural realities.
As we commemorate a century of organized Black history observances, it is fitting to center love as part of that legacy. Black history is not only a record of struggle but also of care, joy, creativity, and relational brilliance. Love has carried movements, sustained families, inspired art, and preserved culture. It has whispered hope where none was promised and built worlds where none were offered.
This Valentine’s Day, honoring Black love as liberation invites intentional practice. It calls for choosing relationships that affirm dignity, engaging in love that is accountable and restorative, and cultivating joy without guilt. Ultimately, Black love is not a singular moment marked on a calendar. It is a living, evolving force—rooted in ancestral wisdom and oriented toward collective liberation. To love Black is to illuminate the African spirit: resilient, expansive, and eternally becoming.
References
Comas-Díaz, L. (2016). Racial trauma recovery: A race-informed therapeutic approach to racial wounds. In A. N. Alvarez, C. T. H. Liang, & H. A. Neville (Eds.), The cost of racism for people of color: Contextualizing experiences of discrimination (pp. 249–272). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/14852-012
Hooks, B. (2000). All about love: New visions. William Morrow.
Nobles, W. W. (2015). Seeking the Sakhu: Foundational writings for an African psychology. University of Chicago Press.
Pinterest. (n.d.). Black love hand signals [Image]. Pinterest. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/826480969161792031/
Pinterest. (n.d.). Black Love is Black Power [Image]. Pinterest. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/556968678896055250/
Pinterest. (n.d.). Black Love & Afros [Image]. Pinterest. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/665406913737298831/
Kiyana Dailey
Kiyana Dailey is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist providing culturally competent, trauma-informed care. A veteran with 15 years of service, she supports individuals, couples, and families navigating trauma, anxiety, and relationship challenges. Her approach integrates CBT, DBT, and strength-based therapy to foster resilience, healing, and growth.
